Vietnam Travel Tips

7. Travelers tips

The well-behaved traveler

Dealing with officials

Visa renewal, traffic accidents or simply getting stopped on the road by a policeman eager to get a closer look at a foreigner…sooner or later, you are bound to have to deal with these problems. Courtesy, patience and politeness are the keys words here.

Remember, when things get rough, be humorous if you can but always respectful. You may be able to talk your way out of your mishap, but you DON’T have the skills or talent, a small fine will most likely get out of your trouble.

DO be reasonable whenever you pay for any thing … from a cyclo ride to a traffic fine. Don’t be a cause of inflation!

When dealing with official, DON’T let them forget you. Be persistent. By always reminding them politely of your presence, they will happy to help you.

Do go early for any administrative matters. Most of things get done in the morning and afternoon is perfect timing for the “you come back tomorrow” line.

DO be prepared to come back a few times, however. Some transactions involve many different officials and the merry-go-round can take e few turns before it finally stops for you.

DO understand that the bureaucracy is not aim at your specifically. All Vietnamese also have to go through these hoops.

Environment

DO be aware of your impact on your environment and try to minimize it. Accept leave all sites at least as nice and pristine as you found them.
Do contribute to a more sustainable tourism in Vietnam.

DON’T raise your exception above reality. Electricity, plastic, TV and modern clothing have the same appear to all peoples. Cultures are more than costume, dances, and handicrafts. By looking people beyond appearances, you will discover authenticity and tradition.

DO encourage eco-tourism, as it does provide major economic driving force behind the conservation of natural recourse.

DO help to conserve Vietnam’s biodiversity.
DON’T consume wild meat or buy traditional medicinal products unless you are certain they are deprived from sustainable management practices. As many of these products come from endangered species, it is better to politely refuse. On the other hand, encouraging environment –friendly products does contribute to the conservation of wild animals.

DON’T buy souvenirs made from endangered species and plant (ivory, tortoise, wild animal skin…). Similarly, buying coral and ornament fish helps maintain destructive harvesting practices.

DON’T drop litter. There are very few rubbish bins in the country; you have to carry it with you for a while.
If no toilet is available, be sure that you bury your waste and all the hygienic items far from waterways.
Never use soap and shampoo in rivers and lakes.

DO conserve energy whenever possible. Turn off air conditioners and fans when you leave the room.

Culture

DON’T give money to begging children. It is far better to pay for shoeshine, postcard or book…even if you do pay a few dongs more than the rock bottom price.

DON’T give sweets or chocolate. It will just make children’s lives more miserable by adding dental problems to their health. Choose such kind of gifts like pens, books, school bags or even clothing…

DO follow the locals. Who do they give money to? Most likely to the old and handicapped. If you want to hand out your cash, follow their examples.

Economics
Do encourage local products. Eat and drink local food, use local transport and local shops. Help turn tourism to the benefit of communities.

Eco- tour suggestion
DON’T follow the crowd, get off the beaten track. Here are few ideas:

Tips for men

Sex, songs and massage
Sorry ladies, Vietnam is no doubt a man’s paradise, even if only for the eyes. You are likely to see more charming smiles, graceful bodies and seducing eyes per square kilometer than in any other place on Earth.
Although proposition is rampant, in Vietnam even the dancing girls and the taxi girls have retained an air of youthful naiveté and sincerity that adds to their already devastating charm.
But caution is always the best approach in uncharted territory. There is make up and then, there is life.
Karaoke and massage parlors are often the front door to come sleazy and personal service. The one thing to remember is that, except in the true –blue back alley clandestine bordellos, you can still go for a sing along or a regular Vietnamese massage in any establishment that advertises these services. Extra are extra and never compulsory.

DO remember that prostitution is still regard as a social evil, on top of being illegal. However, it is quite unlikely that you would get into any real trouble with authorities but you could be caught in an occasional police crackdown.
DON’T make serous promise you can not keep. Most Vietnamese ladies will be quite direct about their intentions, short and long term and in turn, will try and hold you to your word.
DON’T carry too much cash when visiting bars and nightclubs. When overstuffed wallets are fleshed in public, you never know who is watching. It could spell trouble a few hours down the road.
DON’T engage in unprotected sex. AIDS is spreading through Vietnam as fast as the country is opening up. There are a number of other diseases that you might have explain to a spouse or a partner when you get back home…Gonorrhea, syphilis, trichomoniasis… if the disease does not kill you, some one else might.
DON’T get drunk alone in public areas. Vietnam is a safe country, but do you really want to take the risk and become one of the rare crime victims?
DO report all crimes to the police. You will help improve the situation by not keeping silent.
DON’T ever abuse children. Be careful not to act in any way that could be seen as encouraging it.

Taxi girls and dancing girls
For someone in a hurry who does not know where to go, it is best to stick to the dancing girls, taxi girls and foreign-husband hunters mix with the normal crowds of fun seekers.
DON’T believe all what you are told. Girls who hang out at discotheque are simply not your traditional family-oriented career-dreaming types.
DO negotiate the price first before paying for the service. Be ware of “Oh, just anything you want to give me” price tag. It’s bound to get more difficult than that when comes to the time to hand out the cash.
DON’T have sex if you can manage it. Although prostitution can never be eliminated, it can be minimized. Very few girls choose prostitution as a fulfilling career!

But what about true love?
Well, it happens, sometimes. You are not the first foreigner to fall in love with a Vietnamese girl. If you are ready for long tem commitment, it is fairly to get married locally, as long as you have few weeks to spare and ways retrieve all your important papers from your home country (it will take 5 to 6 weeks)
DO remember that Vietnam has laws and regulations about marriage and that no matter how much of hurry you are in or how much you love each other; you will have to abide by these rules.

Family wedding and civil wedding
The Vietnamese regard the civil marriage as an “authorization from government to get married”. So strong is their belief in the family wedding as opposed to the civil one that government actually had to pass a decree forbidding the holding of the family wedding ceremony before getting the papers.

But if your partner is Vietnamese, the fun has just begun. After the civil wedding will come the engagement ceremony where elders of the groom’s family will meet elders from the bride’s family in order to exchange gifts and secure the authorization from both families to have their son/daughter married. May be before the law but not yet according to the traditions of a Confucian –based society. A “good day” will then be chosen for the ceremony. It will be based on the lunar calendar and your respective astrological signs. It could be a few days after the engagement or up to a few months or even a year. Have we talked about patience yet?

The final ceremony will involve both families and a few hundred friends and colleagues.  Once a banquet has been held for all those people the, yes, you are husband and wife. The engagement and wedding ceremonies are highly colorful and full of interesting rituals. It is not the purpose of this book to delve into the complexities of these Vietnamese customs. Your future wife will guide you along this merry road.

DON’T think your foreigner status will exempt you from the government’s regulations on marriage and family law. The Vietnamese are proud of their achievements in this sector and they will resent any condescending attitudes or remarks.

DON’T try to go faster than the civil servants handling your case…yes; it can be a bit tricky if you or your spouse DON’T have all the necessary papers. But do you really want someone to put the brakes on and give you a real taste of stalled bureaucracy? A lifetime commitment is certainly worth a few weeks of patience.

DO remember that every culture has its customs which most of the time can look quite bemusing to an outsider.  Just relax and enjoy the ride.
DO believe your future wife when she presents you with delays or additional difficulties. Again, most people will really do their best to welcome you into their family.

Tips for women

Safety and curiosity

DON’T wear your nicest gold jewellery at night;
DO keep your handbag tucked tightly under your arm, especially while riding in cyclos. There are a few grab-and-ride motorcyclists and they are fast.
For women travelling alone, the biggest problem will probably be curiosity, which comes with an avalanche of questions: “So where is your husband?”, “Where are your children?”, “But why aren’t you married? How old are you then”, etc. The same applies to any single (or divorced) woman over the age of twenty-three and a half. Living alone in Vietnam is not easily understood as a matter of personal choice and will immediately foster bafflement and suspicion… and a barrage of questions!

Tight and see-through, but don’t bare too much

With regards to what is considered the “appropriate” way of dressing in Vietnam, it is worth taking a closer look at the traditional costume, the ao dai. Although nowadays it’s only worn by students at certain schools and during important occasions or at smarter evening parties, it gives a good indication of what is generally “done” and “not done” in terms of dress. The first thing you’ll notice is that the top is worn very tight and that it shows off the figure very well. Indeed, in contrast with many other countries where a woman’s body must be hidden by reams of material or flowing garments that suggest nothing at all, close fitting clothes are not a problem here.

Moreover, especially when white, an ao dai gives a very good view of a young woman’s underwear. It would seem that transparency does not necessarily go hand-in-hand with indecency! However, with its long-sleeved top and trousers right down to the feet, this traditional costume covers a lot of traditionally shielded flesh.
In short, clothes can be as tight and diaphanous as they come… You can never wear too much, but don’t bare too much! So, DON’T hesitate to wear body-hugging little tops, tight trousers or skirts.. if you feel so inclined.

DO risk a little lace and some see-through stuff sometimes: don’t be straight-lace about it! The Vietnamese are not.

DO avoid plunging necklines, bare shoulders, short skirts, shorts… Very little naked flesh is shown in this country. Even though this practice is very rapidly becoming more flexible, especially in the larger towns where young Vietnamese women are adopting more and more international fashions, it is definitely advisable to conform to tradition if you travel in rural areas, visit pagodas and temples and if you are working in Vietnam.

DO show respect for local ways of thinking by adjusting the way you dress. Appearances are very important.

DO be advised that even though Vietnam is not a country where you risk being attacked for your immodesty, receiving reprimands or enduring direct comment, people will definitely look askance all the same, and there will be no shortage of remarks being made behind your back… especially because people will often assume that you don’t speak the language.

Code of conduct

DON’T touch Vietnamese men in public unless you are absolutely sure it will not embarrass them and their entourage.
Aside from some very rare exceptions, Vietnamese women don’t drink and don’t smoke. But, as a foreigner, smoking shouldn’t damage your image too much. The same goes for alcohol. In fact, most Vietnamese will encourage you to drink as much as them. “Down in one” (tram phan tram) is a well entrenched custom.

Falling in love

Love can always strike on the path to the paddy fields, and there are numerous cases of happy endings sealed by marriage vows.
Mixed marriages involving foreign rather than Vietnamese women usually provoke less disapproval and salacious comments from other Vietnamese. But, DON’T underestimate the consequences! Vietnam is a very traditional society with regard to the role of women.

While living in Vietnam, a foreign woman will not enjoy the liberties that generally come with the status of being head of a family. DON’T forget that you’re marrying your mother-in-law, too! You should be awear that, traditionally, young married couples go to live with the groom’s parents, where the young bride becomes a sort of slave to her mother-in-law for a while. Even though your status as a foreign woman can cut you significantly more slack, you will almost certainly suffer strong pressure – and intrusions – from your family-in-law if you don’t want to have children, or if you don’t become pregnant within the five weeks after your honeymoon.

DO be prepared to receive many, many pieces of advice on how to bring up the children you will have had.

DON’T ever forget this, though: love may conquer all!