12. At a Friend's house
To be polite
DON’T drop by on a casual visit to friends in Vietnam without phoning or arranging it before hand: you will embarrass them if their house is untidy or they are busy or if they simply DON’T have any food or drink to offer you.
DON’T be surprised if your friends have rather humble living quarters: even high-level people often live in the modest circumstances.
DO greet older people present first. And do not forget to say goodbye to them before you leave.
What to bring?
When you are invited by Vietnamese friends, you should bring with you some kind of gift. Popular favorites include a bag of fruit or a bunch of flowers. Yet, as a rich foreign friend you should splash out on a bottle of wine of liquor, chocolate…
Before you make a purchase, DO check where the item comes from: the approval rating for locally made or Chinese items will be low. But DON’T expect to be thanked for your present or even to see it opened in front of you. It can be quite galling if you were hoping to share that nice bottle of champagne you brought along, it is quite usual.
What to leave outside?
Your shoes: as in many Asian countries, people traditional sit, rest and eat on the floor. So the solution is to exchange your own foot ware for some plastic sandals, flip-flops or slippers, offered by your host. This custom is really strict in certain countries like Thailand. If you fall over a forest of footwear as you fight your way through your friends’ door, DON’T believe him or her if he or she says politely that you can keep your clogs on: whip them off without more ado.
On the other hand, you can bring in just about anything else you want to –even your motorbike, if you have one and your friend does not have a courtyard or other secure packing place to leave it outside.
Cars owners sometimes even drive them into the ground floors of their house for safekeeping.
When to say goodbye
You may still be having a good time when midnight strikes but DON’T linger for too long: as a rule, such social occasions do not go on as long as they would do in your country. Leisure time is limited and people get up incredibly early in the morning.
Do be on the lookout for hints that the party’s over…even if it’d only nine in the evening. Everyone else has left? Your host’s spouse ha already retired to bed. After a while, you might even be offered a not so subtle but still vietnamesely polite hint… “You go home now?”
When should you invite?
Vietnamese are expeted to invite their family, friends or colleagues on a number of accasion, including:
- On their own birthday
- After giving birth to a child
- When they move to a new house or apartment
- Upon starting a new job or getting a promotion.
- When they buy a big item like a new motorbike.
DO as they do. When it’s your turn to invite, remember it’s who pays for everybody!