Vietnam Travel Tips

Vietnam Culture

Vietnam is Vietnamese. For Westerners traveling through Asia, it is always a surprise to discover countries based largely on homogeneous cultures. In many countries in the world, development has been associated with population movements and integration, resulting in systems and attitudes reflecting the multicultural nature of its citizens. Vietnam’s history is mainly the story of one ethnic group – the Kinh – still representing nowadays 85% of the population.
DO remember that Vietnam was specifically fashioned for the Vietnamese, not for foreigners. It’s their country and – for the most part – they are extremely proud of it and fiercely nationalistic.
DON’T fall for the stereotype that all Asian countries are alike. Vietnam has its own identity and characteristics, quite different from its neighbors, including China. If you were Swede, you wouldn’t consider yourself the same as a German or even a Norwegian, would you? Similarly, Vietnamese are unique.
DO accept that you are a guest in Vietnam. You will experience what it feels like to be part of a visible minority. Fortunately however, you are part of a rather privileged one.
DO reflect that guests enjoy special status but also have special responsibilities.
DO try to learn as much as you can about the culture, to integrate as much as possible into the life of the people around you. The Vietnamese will highly appreciate your efforts to understand them, their culture and their language. And you’ll benefit from better treatment, better prices, and wider smiles.

Culture shock

Everyone gets it. Talk about it, laugh about it, and share it with fellow travelers… Don’t keep it on the country. If you’re looking for home, use your return ticket.
The cure is at your fingertips: understanding your new surroundings.
Your responsibility: to learn to enjoy Vietnam for what it is, a country neither better nor worse than home, but incredibly different.
If this is any consolation in times of utmost despair…, Vietnam is host to thousands of expatriates, many of whom don’t wan to leave. There must be reasons: go out and find them!
DO remember there is no right or wrong in cultural difference: only difference.

Family, the pillar of Vietnamese society. In fact, there are three pillars of Vietnamese society, and they are family, family and family! This could be spelled out as family (immediate), family (extended) and family (projected).
It would be difficult to overestimate the importance of family and the extent to which the “family” model is present in all of the country’s institutions.
Ward and districts are run like extended families. Even in a business environment, employers and colleagues will treat you as part of an extended family, taking care of you when you are sick, visiting you at weekends and holidays, inviting you to their weddings, funerals, housewarmings, and so on (and expecting to be invited to yours!). Naturally, there is also a downside to all this intimacy: people regularly enquiring about your everyday doings or movements and interfering in your personal life. You’ll receive plenty of unsolicited advice – but if you listen, you’ll soon learn plenty about how things are done the Vietnamese way!
DO realize that the Vietnamese have a very different perspective on social, political and business organizations, most of which are modeled on the extended family concept.
DON’T be offended if newly made friends poke into every detail of your personal life. They are in fact helping you become part of a Vietnamese group.
DO enquire about your Vietnamese friends’ health, families and personal life. It will show interest and respect.
DO understand that family matters are paramount and unexpected family responsibilities will take precedence over appointments and activities scheduled previously.
Take a second look at the legend of the origin of Vietnamese people. All Vietnamese, from the deltas to the mountains, descend from the marriage of a dragon lord (Lac) and an immortal princess (Au Co). The dragon is said to have come south from China and, once all their children were grown up, the dragon and his wife the princess returned to the spirit world. What Vietnamese retain from the story is that all Vietnamese people are related to each other. More than one country, this is one (very) extended family… or at least that’s what they would like it to be!
As much as Westerners are “task-oriented”, Vietnamese are “relationship-oriented”. You have a problem? Work on the relationship.

Ethnic groups
If 85% of Vietnamese are of Kinh ethnic origin, which still leaves 15% of the population divided among the 53 other ethnic groups.
The most well known of these groups are the Tay, Thai, Hoa, Khmer, Muong, Dao, and Hmong, all of whom consist of around a million people each. At the other end of the spectrum are the Co Lao, La Ha and Ngai groups with numbers of less than 2,000, and finally the Pu Peo, Ro-mam and O-du with only a few hundred individuals remaining in each one.
Even if the government is making great efforts to present a positive image of Vietnam’s ethnic groups and is trying to ensure their inclusion in the great Vietnamese family, many individuals still consider them backwards and unsophisticated. As in most other parts of the world, ethnic groups and visible minorities have never had it easy. They need all the help they can get.
Without being overly chastising, DON’T encourage negative or degrading remarks and attitudes towards ethnic groups.
DO respect cultural differences and whenever possible, choose tour operators who appear more culturally sensitive.

What’s a Viet Kieu
You’ll hear this term used very often. It refers to all Vietnamese who have left their homeland to live in another country.
Many are now coming back to Vietnam to conduct business for their own sake or as representatives of foreign companies or organizations. Having someone who understands the local language and customs as well as being familiar with some Western ways is a boon to foreign organizations, but can sometimes also be a mixed blessing.
Most Viet Kieu has left for either political or economic reasons and has not been back for decades. Meanwhile, the country has changed so much it may seem as though they have taken a time machine from the past rather than a plane to come back to Vietnam. Their ideas, their manners and even their language can seem strange for younger generations. Those who have stayed behind to live through the difficult years will sometimes refer to those who left as deserters or even traitors.
But as more and more Viet Kieu flock back, heeding the call of the government, this distrust will vanish and family ties will once more take precedence.

Gender equality
Broadly – very broadly speaking, the Western model of gender equality has few followers in Vietnam, although Vietnamese women are as numerous (if not more) in the business and political arena as they are in most developed countries.
All Vietnamese are proud to mention that their constitution guarantees equal status to both sexes; however, separate gender roles for men and women, a legacy of Confucian teachings, are still very much ingrained.
The older generations are keen to mention the major part played by Vietnamese women in the nation’s history: their key role in the wars, their presence at higher management levels of large state-owned or private enterprises, their important role in family-based businesses, etc.
Younger generations, especially the city dwellers, are discovering the challenge of balancing their family ambitions with their professional ones, their traditional Vietnamese ideas on feminism with the trendier worldwide ones.
DO discuss with old and young alike to discover their attitudes and perceptions on gender roles. Most Vietnamese love to discuss this subject… seriously or jokingly… but they will resent condescending or “colonialist” attitudes.
DON’T judge what you cannot yet understand. As always, respect is the key word here.

Tet Holiday

Tet, the biggest event of all
You can think of Tet as being the Vietnamese equivalent of Christmas, New Year and the annual holidays rolled into one.
“Christmas” as it’s Vietnam’s most important religious and family event.
“New Year” because it actually is the Lunar New Year.
“Annual holidays” since it is the only significant break from work for the majority of Vietnamese people.
DO take into account that although Vietnamese civil servants officially only get four days off, the whole country grinds to a halt one week before and up to two weeks after Tet. In the countryside, Tet is the occasion for a month long holiday, the only break most people will have in their working year.
DON’T plan any important meeting, business transaction or access to government services during that period.
DO notice that flights into, out of, and inside the country will most probably be fully booked months in advance for the Tet period.
Tet (real name: Tết Nguyên đán) falls on the first day of the first lunar month and marks the advent of spring. In the solar calendar, it usually corresponds to late January or early February. It is a time of renewal and new beginnings, of family reunions and religious ceremonies. Beforehand, debts must be settled, arguments must be avoided, houses must be repaired, cleaned and decorated. The Vietnamese attach considerable importance to starting the year properly because it is believed that the first day will determine one’s fortune for the rest of the year.
Among the many customs associated with Tet are the New Year’s trees (cây quất, cây đào, or cây mai in the South). A few days before New Year, the streets will be filled with vendors offering these trees. Markets and stores will be completely swamped with clients getting the last items for the preparation of lavish meals and receptions.
Traditional meals – especially bánh chưng – are an integral part of Tet festivities. Many different ceremonies are conducted at homes or at the pagodas to celebrate this important event.
Before midnight, the Spirit of the Hearth is sent to report on the family’s doings during the year that is ending. Special care must be taken to try and have him depart in a positive frame of mind. Offerings and special prayers are addressed for deceased family members.
At midnight, in order to ward off evil spirits and welcome the good ones, great noises are made with firecrackers, drums and gongs. A few years ago, firecrackers were banned and replaced with fireworks at different parts of all major cities.
Vietnamese place extreme importance on the first visitor to pass the family door in the New Year.
DON’T visit any Vietnamese households on the morning of the first day of Tet unless you have been specifically instructed to do so. Vietnamese will go to considerable trouble to ensure that the first visitor to their home – and even to their office – is a “proper” person, i.e., of the right zodiacal sign for the New Year and, if at all possible, a happy, lucky and wealthy person.

The lunar calendar
Each of the 12 lunar months has 29 or 30 days forming years with 355 days. Approximately every third year, a thirteenth month is added (between the 3rd and 4th months) in order to keep the lunar calendar in synch with the solar year. Otherwise, the lunar “seasons” would gradually fall back in the yearly cycle and would loose their link to the agricultural year.
The Vietnamese lunar calendar started in 2637 BC. In ancient cosmogony, Vietnamese used 60-year periods called hồi, divided in six 10-year (called “can” or “heavenly stems”) and five 12-year periods (called “giáp” or “zodiacal stems”). The combination of a “can” and a “giáp” uniquely identified each year in a “hồi”.
You will no doubt discover your “giáp”. According to your year of birth you may be:

Hint: all Vietnamese calendars show both the solar and lunar dates. They are a must if you need to track down lunar dates.

Weddings & Funerals

Tying the knot
If you spend some time in Vietnam, it probably won’t be long before you are invited to a wedding. Although many weddings are less elaborate affairs than they used to be, there is still quite a procedure to be followed and it is widely respected.
Many marriages are more or less arranged by parents, but romantic love has definitely arrived in Vietnam with a vengeance. However, the first thing a prospective couple will do is comparing horoscopes (and ages): any incompatibility here means all wedding bets are off.
If all is well, then the young things can get engaged. This is a separate ceremony, when the boy’s relatives set off in procession to visit their future in-laws, bearing symbolic gifts in special red lacquered boxes. A fortune teller is consulted to set a date and time for the wedding. This may be as little as one month away or as much as three years later: it all depends on the stars and other factors, such as a period of mourning to be respected.
Even though the date may have been fixed far in advance, DON’T that you will only receive your formal invitation about a week or ten days before the wedding.
DON’T count on seeing the formal signing of government marriage papers: this is done separately, either before or after the wedding – in fact, any time before the birth of a first child… although, according to the law, it should be the first step.

When will the party start?
Owing to the complex superstitions determining auspicious moments for any two people to tie the knot, the date and time on your invitation may look like a printer’s error, but
DO be prepared for the party to be at seven o’clock on a Sunday morning: this way you won’t be too surprised, whenever it is…
DON’T turn up with a polite (to Western eyes) half-hour added to the time announced, or you may well miss the meal altogether – or find yourself celebrating the next wedding booked at the same restaurant!
DON’T expect to party until dawn with close family and friends. No dancing or singing (except often amplified music with a hired crooner). But at least there’s always plenty to drink, even if you have to toast with total strangers. Vietnamese weddings are huge and formal affairs, with hundreds of colleagues and obligatory guests imposed by etiquette.
DON’T be surprised if you are shown wedding photos at the ceremony, already developed and arranged in albums: these are usually taken well before at a studio specializing in that sort of thing.
DON’T attempt to kiss the bride, Western style – unless of course she invites you to!

What about a present?
DO keep it simple: money is by far the easiest gift and is universally well received. One clean, nearly-new banknote of the largest local denomination should suffice, unless you are very close to one or both of the newly-weds and you want to give more, and/or DO buy something useful to help the happy couple set up their new home, as more and more newly-weds in Vietnam are now choosing to live by themselves, instead of with the groom’s family as they did in the past.
Traditionally, the minimum acceptable money gift is one that covers the cost of the meal at the particular venue where the wedding takes place.
When choosing very upscale venues, couples run the risk of having friends or relatives politely declining the invitation or not showing up because they simply can’t afford the cost.
Most people will identify themselves on the envelopes so the groom and bride will know the extent of their generosity and will have to match it when they themselves will be invited in that particular family.

Attending a funeral
If a friend or colleague invites you to a relative’s funeral, it is really polite to show up, even if for a short time. Here’s how you should go about it:
On the way to the deceased’s house (there are no funeral homes here), buy a funeral wreath at one of the specialized shops selling nothing but.
At the friend’s place, give the wreath then slowly walk around the wooden coffin, stopping a few seconds to look at the deceased’s face. Coffins are sealed but there is a small windowpane placed above the deceased’s head.
Give proper condolences to your friend and mostly to the family’s elders. If you don’t know any Vietnamese words, just shake their hands and move on.
You will most likely be invited to sit down and eat. It is polite to accept but don’t linger at the table. Eat a few morsels then excuse yourself and leave.
Apart from funerals, you may be invited to commemorate someone’s death anniversary. These anniversaries are celebrated much more scrupulously than birth anniversaries, especially when they involve a mother or father. Your presence and that of other guests are the most important elements of such celebrations. You will be introduced, asked to toast more than once, asked to eat more than you can probably ingest.
DON’T overindulge, even amidst the insistence of all family members: eat sparingly… the family might actually have to borrow money to feed all the guests.
DON’T linger around the table after the meal is over. They might expect other guests or may have other plans for the rest of the evening.
Although you probably will not have a chance to go to the cemetery where the deceased’s body will be cremated or temporarily buried, and will also not be invited to the reinternment ceremony, you should be aware of a very particular funeral custom, mostly prevalent in the North.